Saturday, September 26, 2009

Who is in there? --2

 
The other day I was talking to a friend.
She was asking me
'how could you do that?'. 
 
Well it is customary in my experience that people do ask me  sometime or other this question. They  have known me  before.  Based  on   that   they  have  least   expected  that  I  will  be able to do that.  But really even I do not know that I can do somethings which I have done.  Examples will be tedious. You can find   one   even  from  your   own  experience.
The point is why I can't be sure about myself. 
 
Sometimes I am tempted to say, as I said to her on that day,  'Nowadays I am not able to  predict  or   predicate anything of me. Rather I  resist  to  rely  on  any of my own self-normations.   If  I  am  not  sounding  mystical I can say  'I am but a gatekeeper to the fellow inside,  whom I don't  know  about  except  what he gives  me  to know.' The funny thing is the fellow  inside  is  really  --  me !
 
We are born to the knowledge we profess  and we transcend  the same in no time.
Right from the moment of birth somebody is writing the story -- from inside out  and reading the scenario from outside in.  
 
He is calling himself as he was and,  so far, many  identities  have  been   changing  over and over with time.  A small boy with shorts kicking an imaginary football in a wayward pebble thru the streets, taking out the groundnut cookies from the trouser pockets and pelleting in as going along and singing some ditties and hooing back to the call of some buddies ---Is  he  the same  script-writer,  the  one  just now?
 
May be  or   may be not.
 

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