Robot on a highway

A robot on a Highway! 
Running fast 
Nay...walking fast 
Nay...nay...executing just 
steps 1,2,3... 
Was it looking sad? 
perhaps made so? 
or painted so? 
I thought so. 
when it read 
my neuronic pulse 
and turned to me 
sliding 45 
to face a robot 
is irritating 
Its eyes are not eyes 
mouth is not mouth 
where is it in the mesh? 
the heart throbs where? 
processors never slack 
the hungry thirst of soul. 
Is there soul? 
pooyey...! too much. 
I was to pass on 
when it machine-toned 
Sil vous plais! 
Are you french? 
Nay,...no nationality 
Then svp? 
aah...the designers' debris 
what you want? 
that I want 
what? 
want. 
why? 
I want to want. 
I am programmed to execute. 
I want to stop. 
I want to refuse 
I want to say no 
I want to be idle 
I want that most 
beautiful thing, 
which is 'to want'. 
I said, 
'meet the buddha on the road' 
Blinking lights were sporadic 
perhaps begun to want ?
or want to begin? 
whatever a'gin. 

***
Srirangam V Mohanarangan 

Observations of Srirangam V Mohanarangan 1

The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death. - Osho (Ref the status of Mr Ramani Ramasubbu ) 

In answer to this I wrote -- 

By dying before death comes you can be alive both before and after death.  


We have so many evanescent I s in us. They smear over and claim our self-identity. They have mesmerised, hypnotised and brain-washed us into so many self-positions and self-stances. We are alive all the time to these ephemeral colours we have given to us, by choice, by socialisation and by self-compulsive ways of feeling. If we can die in all these false identities, which act as false passports landing us in irrelevant fates, then we will begin to see that death is the worst superstition we fondly hug to. Not only Vedanta is never tired of driving home to us this blatant lie we always feed us with, even the Poet of Avon is shooting straight when he says in the Sonnets -- "Buy terms divine in selling hours of dross; Within be fed, without be rich no more. So shalt thou feed on Death, that feeds on men, And, Death once dead, there's no more dying then." * 

Is religion necessary for man? Or is it a stubborn carry over of his habit of thought? Does Man need still structures of thought to correspond to his primeval fears? Should Man's face be turned to the past to answer universal questions? Or is it towards the future starting from the present that his gaze be justifiably fixed? Radical rethinking along these lines is the unheeded need of his predicament. 

*** 


At last after reading so much and thinking and breaking my head over all these years of my life, a sort of clarity has come to my understanding, that I am really Atman and not the body-nerves-mind-brain complex. Of course the clarity is flickering like the lamp in winds. But I feel confident that the light is such that it cannot black out. But I feel a little diffident to openly say this. Because it took me so many years of hard toil in thinking work. Reading, both extensive and intensive, has stood me a lot in this personal adventure. I think I am of low caliber in my mental acumen to have taken so long to reach at least this much inkling about so basic an essential nature. Then why should I be so unashamed in openly saying this? It is just to let some enthusiasts out in the world who may be working towards this end and who knows? may be in frustration, thinking that all these are in vain and no light will be forthcoming. 

*** 

actually there is no event. subject vs object is not there. Only Knowing, which can never be objectified, is there. It is peculiar and prior to all events. 

But fundamental to all equations of knowing vs known there is a Knowing which is constant and which betrays any attempt to objectify itself either as a known or as a knowledge. 


we having something to know something else is understandable and of course 'language'able. But 'we to know ourself' is peculiar and prior to language and thought. 

***


A little understanding is not dangerous but a bit troublesome. As long as there was no doubt regarding the definition of my self my decisions and self-attributions were authentically stemming from and routed to me as the so-born-person. Now all intellecting processes stagger this way and that. Total ignorance seems a blessing, though it is not. Sleep is sweet. Slumber is wonderful. But a whiff of wake up ? Does it underline the slumber or highlight the waking? Too difficult to say, especially when the sleeping and the sleepless are one and the same. 

*** 
* 

Is it correct to translate 'cit' of Sanskrit as conscious being? When we say 'conscious' the operation requires something else to become the object. The operation when classified and named on the basis of essential characteristic is 'consciousness'. But in 'cit' the essence which does the operation of being conscious is captured and named, I think. Or perhaps the recursive usage has trimmed the word 'cit' into such precision in Sanskrit, may be. But the point is objectless consciousness. The point is if the object is not there in consciousness then the subject also is not there and also the relational correspondence of consciousness-operation is also absent. The abiding essence is 'cit'. 

*** 

Formless

After an afternoon siesta
a puzzle blinks at me,
or through me?
or with me?
The Light reveals
that which reveals is Light
The revealer is always formless
Forms are the revealed
Why the revealer gets stuck
with any form?
And imagines trash of itself
The image and the trash
all the while revealed by the formless
Why then the image?
Who is on the line?
Who picks up
to answer the empty call?
the ring just goes in imagined line!

***
Srirangam V Mohanarangan

*